All the single ladies (and gents too!) put your hands up! Time for a pep talk…

Have you not noticed how all the best words rhyme with single? Single, mingle, pringle, tingle, jingle (bells, obvs), bilingualdingle…? *shifty eyes*

The more you look at the word single, it looks like ‘sin-gleehh’.

You will never unsee that.

Anyway, are you single? Maybe you are, maybe your not – I will never know. Regardless, I wanted to express my thoughts on being single and give you a little pep talk, cheer up session. I haven’t been single long, well – 2 years and a bit-ish. There are others out there who have been single much longer or indeed a lot less than I. Welcome to the club! Take a badge.

My personal experiences on being single have been fairly interesting. I was single from the age of 20 (near enough) and after being with my ex for four years I felt that nothing out there would match being in a relationship, my rose tinted glasses were glued on. It’s scary! This person is all you know! You don’t need to know how to flirt, no need to shave your legs, wash your hair everyday, dress up, wear sexy PJ’s… it’s bloody scary when you wake up day 1 fresh of being single – ‘what the hell do I do now?!’ *cries* What if the next person I meet doesn’t accept my love for Iron Man? or Sausage Dogs? What if they don’t like my friends? What if they’re too cool for me?! What if they don’t like my body/hair/clothes…?! aaaghhhh!

OI, shush, shut it. Quiet. Thank you.

Embrace the singleness. It’s a bitter-sweet thing, you become single = scary, you start your new path = exciting, meet new people = exciting, the concept of dating = ah sh*t, rejection = ouch, new partner = scary but exciting and so it goes on. It’s most definitely a rollercoaster, or so I have learned anyway. You will be thrown in the deep end of dating (*warning = dating is easy…no – date sharks are out there ready and waiting, punch these straight on the nose) and that on it’s own is highly daunting. Letting someone else into my world?! are you kidding??! Sorry to say, people will hurt your feelings and you will hurt theirs, and that is a sh*t fact, but that’s life, it’s part of the experiences who help build us a person and make us more aware of who we are and what we deserve.

In my 2 years of living in Singletown I have met a definite pick’n’mix of guys (my friends will vouch for this), some sweet, some sour, some taste like arse (metaphorically speaking), some you put in the bag but you don’t really know why but it’s worth an try, and the others are still on the shelf potentially waiting for you to take the plunge and just give it a go. However, as much as some of these guys weren’t particularly nice to me (I’m being VERY kind here) in a way, I have to thank the knobby ones really. They taught me a lot about myself and after a while, I managed to really dig deep and accept what I know I deserve. I would ‘settle’ for what I thought was enough for me, and pretend that I was okay with Dave *name changed for sake of hassle,  telling me that I wasn’t really that funny really and it was embarrassing, I would pretend it didn’t hurt my feelings when I fell down two steps outside a club and he turned around and laughed and proceeded to walk off, leaving me mortified and with a sore shin – you get the picture. These types of people will enter your life and may take a massive dump on your flames, but boys and girls – they’ll be sorry when you reignite that flame, because these types of experiences will only make you stronger, better and hotter, and fighting fit for the next one. (YAAAS!)

I know now, yes – only NOW that those situations were NOT okay. I kick myself when I think back to any point where I was treated less than anything other than ‘nice’. Why did I let that happen? and why did I let them get away with it? No clue. BUT! silver lining, I know I deserve better than that and I will not let it happen again.

What I’m saying is, as well as a relationship can play a huge part developing who you are and learning so-so much from someone else, you can also do this when your single. You will find yourself doing so much that maybe you wouldn’t have done when you were in a relationship, and vice-versa.  It’s a close 50/50. Being single is a time to heal from the break up (that SUCKS, because you actually feel that hurty pain in your chest), it allows you to be selfish for once, do what you need to do and just get on, and move on, re-discover yourself (sorry, cringe I know). Look after number 1 – yes, thats you.

It’s also a really satisfying feeling, especially after a while, when you have a brainwave and you can confirm what it is you really want. Think it over and over, say it out loud, discuss it with anyone and everyone. The more you do this, it seems to be you become a magnet and subconsciously you begin to make it happen for yourself and that is a good feeling too.

So in a nutshell, I think I’m saying being single isn’t as shit as maybe people say? Admittedly I have my moments where I’m watching Love Island and get overcome with rage on how easy it is for them to find love in 3 days (I have to tell myself they are with each other every day in close proximity it’s bound to happen for them) and just as it will be for any of us singletons as and when we are ready for it. Take every experience and enjoy the small moments that make it matter, you will fall in love even more with old and new friends, family, hobbies, yourself and everything else. You can channel that energy into other things that make you happy and watch your life unfold before you, then you can look back and think ‘I’m SO glad I did that!’ – yay! *toots horn*

It’s okay to be sad, happy, scared, in a relationship, single, unsure of what next, very sure of what next (you lucky duck), and when you feel you’ve hit your low you can expect to start that path to reach your high again. Use those around you to lean on when you feel lonely, try dating sites, speed dating, talking to that guy/girl at the bar, *stalking the fitty around Tescos *yet to be proved successful.

Being single or taken doesn’t make you any more or less of a person ❤

x

 

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